“Empathy is the listener's effort to hear the other person deeply, accurately and without judgment. Empathy involves skillful reflective listening that clarifies and amplifies the person’s own experiencing and meaning, without imposing the listener’s own material.” Carl Rogers
Empathy refers to a way of being that involves setting aside ourselves (our views and beliefs) in order to fully enter the world of another. It means to temporarily live in someone’s life without making judgments or attaching meaning.
Empathy is not about losing ourselves in the world of another and indefinitely carrying inside ourselves the feelings and experiences of another. Instead, empathy is about being grounded and centred enough to be able to find our way home after visiting the world of another.
To further illustrate this concept, imagine listening as a bowl and speaking is the liquid. Just as the bowl gives the liquid its shape, the quality of our listening gives the speaking its shape. The deeper the listening, the deeper the speaking can be.
Below are some strategies that can help you cultivate an empathic approach and practice active listening:
Know your limits
It’s possible that, during the helping process, you may discover that you don’t have the tools or resources necessary to provide the person with what they need. If this is the case, make them aware of your limitations and be clear about what you can and cannot do for them. If appropriate and relevant, offer to help them seek out other resources or ways through which they can have their needs met.