Everything you need to know about emotional intelligence

Put simply, emotional intelligence is our ability to recognize, understand, interpret, and manage our own emotions, as well as the emotions of those around us. While it may not come naturally to everyone to easily put a name to what they’re feeling, the good news is that emotional intelligence can be learned, practiced, and strengthened. 

Emotional intelligence is vital for our overall well-being. When we can accurately identify what we’re feeling, we can develop more meaningful insight into why we’re feeling that way, and how our emotions drive certain behaviors. Emotional intelligence also allows us to express our feelings and to make our needs known, which can be helpful in relationships in many different contexts, including with romantic partners or in professional settings. 

For example, if you notice yourself becoming increasingly stressed or overwhelmed at work, this may be an opportunity to voice those feelings to your manager to prevent burnout. Or, if you’re feeling unappreciated by your partner, it may be a chance to communicate what you’re needing. In both these scenarios, emotional intelligence makes it easier to have potentially uncomfortable conversations, to repair or improve relationships, and to use emotions in a positive way. 

Some individuals may have a more innate ability to recognize and identify emotions and to draw insights from them, while others may have to work at it more proactively. If you find it challenging to recognize, identify, and interpret your emotions, here are some things you can do to cultivate your emotional intelligence: 

• Listen: To yourself and to others. What are your emotions trying to tell you? What prompted them? Active listening can help you to develop empathy, and more easily place yourself in the shoes of others to understand what they may be feeling.
• Observe: Your own behaviors and emotions, and those of others. You can draw insight from both verbal and non-verbal cues, such as facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language. You can use these observations to draw further connections between what you’re feeling and how you’re acting.
• Reflect: Consider writing down how you felt throughout the day, whether it was positive or negative, what you were thinking when you noticed that emotion, and how you responded to it. Journaling can provide a “vent” for emotions that you may find difficult to express outwardly and provide you with an opportunity to explore in more depth what it is that you’re feeling.
• Ask for feedback: Take some time to reflect on your findings and ask for feedback from those around you. Ask them what they noticed about your responses in certain conversations, what emotions they picked up on from you, or how they interpreted your behavior. Do their observations fit with how you see yourself? If not, consider what it would look like for you to have expressed yourself in a way that is more consistent with that. 

So, what are you feeling? Our therapists can help you better understand your emotions. MindBeacon has a variety of supports available through the Virtual Mental Health Therapy Clinic. If you are part of our Workplace Mental Health Program, please visit your company page for access to services covered by your program.