Losing Touch: Coping With the Effects of Virtual Communication

Physical distancing affects us, mind and body. It is a physical experience, after all. Losing the hugs, handshakes, and even a simple tap on the shoulder can leave us feeling detached. We turn to video calls, but call after call can leave us tapped out. Here, we dive deeper into the physical impact social isolation is having on us – and a few little things we can do daily to fight back.

Touch is a clear form of expression.
Touch is one of the simplest and clearest ways to convey key positive emotions, like empathy, gratitude and affection. A hug from a friend can instantly comfort us. An arm around our shoulder can help us feel secure. Studies have shown that even the mere presence of another person who can provide touch reduces the negative effect of social exclusion. So, with most of our interactions now virtual, we may struggle to feel comforted and cared for. [Zoom/Facebook video/Teams/Houseparty] are an important way to stay connected but…

Video calls are draining.
A new term has emerged during the pandemic: “Zoom fatigue.” Video chats require more focus than face-face interactions because we need to work harder to process non-verbal cues, like tone of voice or body language. This makes it harder to settle into the natural rhythm of conversation. Plus, it’s just you and the camera. We don’t have a waiter to turn to, a person to flirt with, or ambient noise to fill silences. This can put pressure on us to always be “on.” Even looking at ourselves on camera can be an overwhelming experience for some. All of this can be simply exhausting.

Distancing isn’t our choice. But how we react to it is.
We can’t stop physical distancing, and we can’t not video call if we want to see another person. So what do we do? Here are some tips to help strike a balance between social connection and physical health.

• Limit calls.
  This isn’t easy, especially if your work involves many meetings. If possible, limit them to only the necessary ones, and build in buffers so you don’t go from one video call to the next. And, leave some nights free from social calls so you can recharge.
  
• Mix it up.
  Larger group chats can be especially difficult, since it’s hard to see everyone and keep up with the conversation. Try to include some one-on-one catch-ups with a close friend, colleague or family member, where you can connect on a deeper level.
  
• Turn off the camera (if you want).
  If you’re not comfortable to be on video one day, own it! Tell the other person you’re going video silent. Since everyone is in the same boat, chances are people will get it.
  
• Maintain balance.
  If you need a screen break, write a long email to a friend or have an old-fashioned audio-only call.
  
• Impose digital breaks.
  Before the pandemic, many of us were already glued to our phones. Now, it’s escalated even further. Set your phone to vibrate, turn it over, put it another room … whatever it takes to impose a digital break into your day. Our minds need a break from constant stimulation – and the pressure to respond.

There are positives. Really.
While we all miss connecting IRL, there are some positives to reflect on. The pandemic means that we all have something in common to talk about, which for many, is leading to reconnections. Many of us are finding that we talk to our friends more often, and in a more meaningful way. Maintaining these connections is vital for our mental health. Just make sure you keep an eye on your body too.