Tiny, Beautiful Things

There is a lot of talk these days about the new normal and what the future might look like. So many news stories and journal articles trying to give a shape to our future can sometimes feel like one big collective anxiety reaction to the uncertainty we are all feeling.

But anxiety is a deceptive feeling; it can make you feel like you need to DO SOMETHING RIGHT NOW! But often that impulse to DO SOMETHING leads to the brain running like a hamster on a wheel of “what ifs.”

So, how do we face a future that’s so uncertain in many ways? How do we prepare ourselves for many possibilities, while not overwhelming and exhausting ourselves? We can start by accepting the increased uncertainty before us and preparing ourselves the best we can by fortifying the body and mind to endure whatever may come.

Take stock of your resources
Resources can include a good support system, developing mindfulness skills, good problem solving, humour or the ability to be flexible and adapt to change. Remind yourself of your strengths and think how they might help you cope.

Get to know your body
Track sensations of both calm and stress in your body. Often, when we are experiencing a lot of stress, our bodies are running on high alert, tensed and agitated. If you don’t know what that feels like for you, you won’t know how and when to intervene and try to calm your body down when you need to.

The other side of that is knowing what calm also feels like in your body. Both are important. If you are unsure how to do this, starting with an exercise like Progressive Muscle Relaxation can be helpful.

Make sure your physical needs are being met
That means eating well, exercising, trying to get a good amount of sleep. Feeling strong and healthy may not prevent a stressful event from occurring in your life but it will help you better deal with it.

Build resiliency
Resiliency is not a trait you do or don’t have. This is something that can be built up and developed. Also remember that being resilient doesn’t mean that you won’t experience distress; what it does mean is that you can act effectively even when you are in distress.

Name your emotions
Anxiety is often an ominous feeling that is more unsettling because of its vagueness. While imagining all the possible negative outcomes of the future is not helpful, if there is a particular fear that is based in present circumstances better to name the fear so that you know exactly what you are dealing with

So, rather than leaving it at: “What if something bad happens?” explore that idea and articulate it more specifically: “I am afraid I will lose my job,” “I am afraid that my relationship won’t last through this difficult time and I will be alone,” “I’m afraid I won’t be able to cope with the depression and anxiety I am experiencing.

Specifying your fear allows you to be proactive in the present by switching from ineffective worrying to active problem solving for your specific fear. Start working on your resume and scanning job postings, set aside time for you and your partner to feel connected, or get connected to the many available mental health resources to help you fortify your mental health.

You’ve come through hard things before, remember that
While we try to stay focused in the present, reminding yourself of past successes and moments of resiliency can be helpful. We have all had different struggles in our lives that we’ve withstood. It may have been different than the circumstances we face now, but we have all shown resiliency at different points in our lives. Even adjusting to the first week of lock down showed a resiliency in all of us.

Finally, cultivate hope
Hope is an active feeling that can be nurtured and strengthened. Hopeful self-talk does not come from telling yourself that everything will be okay; it comes from telling yourself that this is hard and frustrating at times, but I am determined to do it.

Taken individually, it might be difficult to see the power and promise of the suggestions above. But don’t be fooled by comparing them to the loud and urgent voice of anxiety. See them for what they are; they are tiny, beautiful things that will increase your ability to cope with whatever the future may bring.